Trials

This past month has been one of those months where I have found myself asking 'when will it stop'. When will I no longer feel like my world is crashing down on me?

Between moving 700+ miles away from all our family and friends, another miscarriage and uncertainty about where we will be living I've come to my breaking point. I am feeling very lonely and am finding it hard to make friends. I was so worried about Jake adjusting to all these changes that I didn't even think about the effect it would have on me. I know that Heavenly Father will only give us what we can handle, but at this point, I'm not so sure I can handle all this.

I finally got around to listening to the Relief Society Broadcast and one of the talks given I know was meant for me. It was Linda Reeves talk titled 'The Lord has not Forgotten You". It was such a blessing to hear these words:

"Dear sisters, our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, know us and love us. They know when we are in pain or suffering in any way. They do not say, 'It’s OK that you’re in pain right now because soon everything is going to be all right. You will be healed, or your husband will find a job, or your wandering child will come back.' They feel the depth of our suffering, and we can feel of Their love and compassion in our suffering."

"... I testify that He has not forgotten you! Whatever sin or weakness or pain or struggle or trial you are going through, He knows and understands those very moments. He loves you! And He will carry you through those moments, just as He did Mary and Martha. He has paid the price that He might know how to succor you. Cast your burdens upon Him. Tell your Heavenly Father how you feel. Tell Him about your pain and afflictions and then give them to Him. Search the scriptures daily. There you will also find great solace and help."

I have clung to these words these last few weeks when everything seemed to be crashing down on me. I started writing this post a week or so before the Relief Society broadcast and I think it's important for me to remember my feelings and to remember that I am not alone during my struggles. I still miss my family and friends and I still have my moments but I know that He is looking down on me with love.